Egghead

Who the hell knows what they were thinking. If they were thinking. Sure, plenty of bald men merged with eggs have come and gone, but why this spin?

Possible headlines for this eggstravaganza :

YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMELET WITHOUT HOMICIDE.

CRACKING DEALS ON FAR-EASTER EGGS.

DID YOU GET THE YOLK?

Beefy Guy

Oh yeah, cut me off a piece. Seriously, someone spent a bunch of time and money creating a stock shot that will be used only once. Right here.

Possible headlines for this inedible atrocity:

PUTTING THE ARM IN ARMOR HOT DOGS.

HEY BABY...TASTE A REAL MAN'S MEAT.

I'M TAKING YOU TO POUND-OF-SALAMI TOWN.

The Terror...ism

You have to wonder why a terrorist is wearing a disguise to make a call. You also have to wonder why he thinks bullets travel through phone lines. Not a genius. 

Possible headlines for this bomb:

AT&T REVEALS LATEST RETENTION STRATEGY.

NEW TERROR-RING DISCOVERED.

LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF HIS ROCKER.

Size Matters

What is this guy smiling about? She's picked out something that would make Mr. Ed jealous. 

Possible headlines for this bizarre encounter:

VASELINE: NOW IN 5 GALLON TUBS.

PROZAC: SMILE THROUGH HORRIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES.

SHOP TIL YOU DROP YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

Spring Dress for Hitler

"Hey boss...do we have a photo of Hitler...in a dress...peeling potatoes that have gone to seed...and looking off into the distance, like every memory of his awful past haunts his soul?" "NO...but we can make one."

Possible headlines for this atrocity:

AND YOU THOUGHT GUY FEIRI WAS BAD...

VERY CROSS DRESSER.

SPUDDY HELL.